President's Corner - Musings:  July is kind of a nice month in the annual cycle of our Park.  Traffic is down.  Our pools are not overly crowded.  The hectic pace of January, February and March has passed.  Most of our Members are gone somewhere else.  But it sure is hot!  Now, if we could just do something about those hurricanes!!

            They tell me VIE is quiet in the summertime.  The reason "they" tell me is that I'm in Michigan.  Our weather in May was somewhat on the chilly side.  But, overall, Michigan weather usually is pretty darn good in the summer time.  And, as a bonus, there is no threat of hurricanes!

            But, the business of our Park continues.  Our BOD doesn't escape by going North.  Our Manager is talented in keeping us informed and doing what is necessary to keep the Park functioning properly.  Sometimes, however, it seems to me that this email contact is just too darn quick.  But it sure is efficient!!

            Yet, I am already starting to look forward to October when Trish and I return.  The Park seems to call out over the distance like the Siren of old.  Come back.  Come back.

            See y'all in the Fall.

Jim Miller - trish.jim@hotmail.com

 

VIHO, Inc., Manager's Messages - Please remember its a new quarter and maintenance fees are due (July 1^st - delinquent after the "5^th working day"). Shareowners fees are $375.00 per quarter. Non-shareowners, because of lot sizes, there are five different figures so please check with the office for correct amount due.

            All the special projects are completed for the summer season so our year round residents will not be bothered by any more inconvenience. When you get a chance look at our front entrance, the mens and ladies' rest rooms at Clubhouse 1 and the new trees planted. In July and again in August, the committee will be going around looking at homes with weed problems, homes that need pressure cleaning and painting.

            I have been asked by many residents to allow grasses to grow around our lakes. This will allow for small fish to hide and get bigger as well as help the erosion problem. We are looking into building (or having built) some artificial floating islands for our lakes to try and increase our fish population. In the past, I was instructed to keep the lakes pristine. This is not working because we have one lake some consider a dead lake which will lead to all our retention ponds or lakes following suit along with more erosion.

            I read an article in a Sunday newspaper, "Florida Yard Tip" and thought it would be great to share it with you:

            Planting trees that establish a tree canopy is a great way to begin your Florida-Friendly Yard. Trees not only provide shade and wildlife habitat, but they also help to reduce storm water runoff. Trees significantly increase the value of a home and lot. According to the American Forestry Association, trees have other significant monetary benefits. Each year, a single tree provides $73 worth of air conditioning savings, $75 worth of erosion control, $75 worth of wildlife shelter and $50 worth of air pollution reduction -- compounding this total of $273 annually for 50 years at 5% interest results in a tree value of $57,171. The overall benefits far outweigh the initial cost of each tree. Since I have been your manager, I have planted more trees in the common areas of the park than have been removed. On the other hand, residents have taken out more trees than have been planted. Except for the common areas of the park, all other trees are the responsibility of each shareowner. During June, we planted a Jacaranda tree and a Royal Poinciana tree at Clubhouse 1 and another Royal Poinciana at the corner of Via Veneto and Cortina Blvd.

            If you would like to take advantage of the above cost savings and enhance your property, call me or someone from the VIE Gardeners Club for tree planting suggestions.

            We, at the office, wish all the residents a Happy Independence Day.

 

Notes from Neville - Sales picked up for the Winter season and have started to turn into their normal slow but steady "look sees" for the summer season.  The sales will hopefully continue and build as we come into the Fall selling season.  That is when a large number of people are looking to purchase a home so they may use it during the Winter.  We have seen some stabilizing in our pricing again.  Hopefully, it may be next Winters selling season for us to finally start having increases in our prices again.  The Real Estate market has had a tough couple of years as everyone is aware.  I have been reluctant to say the hard times are over, however, I did see an improvement in this past year.  If you have any questions about Real Estate, please call Kim or me.

Neville Demo - 485-7743

Licensed Real Estate Broker

Venice Isle Real Estate Sales, Inc.

 

Administration Office - Hours are 7:30 a.m. to Noon, Monday through Friday.  Afternoon hours are available by appointment only.  Call 488-9648.  A lock box is available by the curb 24/7 for communications to administration and management.

 

 

Clubhouse 1 Bulletin Board Rules - Regarding Rentals - When you place your listing on the board you should take note of my name and phone number.  Then, if and when you rent and only if you are not here or have no one to remove the card, please feel free to call me.  I'll remove it.

            This should keep the board looking good and will allow people that do have rentals a better chance to market their places.

            To keep the bulletin boards orderly and to have available space to post as many notices as possible, please do the following:

1.       Use 3" x 4" cards or paper.

2.       Mark the date it is posted on right bottom corner of the notice.

3.       Post it in one of the marked squares.

Notices will remain for 30 days and if necessary to remain longer, you may re-date it at the end of this period.

If you have any questions, please call me.

Winnie OLoughlin - 486-1374

 

The Islander - The deadline for The Islander submissions for the September issue is August 15^th.  I would appreciate receiving the articles as early as possible.

Hand written articles should be mailed by August 11^th to arrive at the following address:

Lyn Zalewski

37 Charles Street

Salem, MA 01970-4513

Forms are located in a file holder on the Clubhouse 2 veranda wall by the Bulletin Board, pool side.  Please follow the guidelines and instructions so that your announcement will be printed.

Email is fine -

I am on line -

lynski815@aol.com

Lyn Zalewski - Editor

 

The Islander Advertising - All commercial advertising is handled through the Publisher, Hilarie Glasgow, at On Trac Publishing, P.O. Box 158, Venice, FL, 34284, at 485-2644.  A special rate is offered to Venice Isle Estates residents.

 

 

Swimming and Waterborne Diseases - Millions of people go swimming and wading each year, and most of them don't get sick. But the actual incidence of water borne disease is not known. Swimming is communal bathing. When you are in the water you are bathing with everyone else in the pool, Water Park, hot tub, spa, lake, river, or ocean. Germs in contaminated water can enter your system if you accidentally swallow the water, and can cause infection in your eyes, nose, ears, as well as in cuts and scrapes.

            A pool usually becomes contaminated with germs after someone has a fecal "accident" in the pool. These accidents may be in the form of watery diarrhea. Therefore, they are not as easily noticed as a formed stool. In addition, lakes, rivers, and the ocean can become contaminated by sewage, animal waste, and waste water runoff, especially after heavy rains.

            What is my chance of getting diarrhea when I go swimming? We don't really know. If public pools are properly maintained and chlorinated, the risk is thought to be low. However, over the past 10 years, over 150 outbreaks have been reported, involving small community pools, large water parks, hot tubs, spas, lakes, and rivers.

            Many outbreaks go unnoticed because people do not consider the pool water as a possible source of illness. It may take up to several weeks for some germs to cause symptoms of illness. The longer the time period between swimming and development of illness, the less likely people are to associate their illness with swimming activity. As a result, the number of actual outbreaks is probably greater than those currently reported.

            Do swim diapers or swim pants prevent fecal matter from entering the water? Using rubber pants, swim pants, or swim diapers has been suggested as a way to reduce fecal contamination of recreational water by infants, toddlers and adults. These diapers may prevent formed stool from getting into the water, but they have not been tested to determine how well they contain stool after it becomes wet or how well they contain diarrhea. Swim diapers are most likely NOT able to prevent diarrhea (which may indicate ongoing illness) from leaking into the pool. Even though the diapers may reduce the release of formed stool, they are not leak proof. Change often and make frequent trips to the toilet.

            Doesn't the chlorine in the pool, hot tub, and spa kill all the germs? No. Chlorine does a good job of killing most germs, but it does not sterilize the water. A few germs can survive normal pool, hot tub, and spa levels of chlorine for several hours to days. Chlorine must be maintained at proper levels to kill most germs. The high water temperature of hot tubs and spas may cause chlorine to evaporate faster. As a result, chlorine levels in hot tubs and spas need to be checked more regularly than in swimming pools. Remember: even if you can smell the chlorine odor, the water is not germ free.

http://healthlink.mcw.edu/article/959984740.html - 01/31/2008

 

Reminder - If you are planning to rent your Venice Isle home, the following forms must be on file and approved prior to your tenant arriving to Venice Isle Estates.

1.)  Owners Permission to Rent Form.

2.)  Tenants Information Form.

3.)  Tenants Privacy Policy Form.

4.)  Copy of Drivers License(s) or Photo I.D.

These forms are available at the office.

Administration Office - 488-9648

 

Reminder - If you are selling your home personally or through an outside Real Estate Agency, please contact the Administration Office or have your Agent come in to the Administration Office for the proper procedures.

Administration Office - 488-9648

 

Odd addresses on Thursdays;

Even addresses on Tuesdays.

There are no restrictions on reuse or reclaimed water for irrigation.  All irrigation should take place before 10:00 a.m. and after 4:00 p.m.

 

 

Worship Services are held

Every Sunday morning

9:30 a.m. - Clubhouse 1

 

 

Church Rummage Sale News - Message for established residents and new residents - When you are remodeling or getting new furniture and want to get rid of the old - give it to the Evangelical Covenant Church for our Rummage Sale in January 2009.

            Call one of our men from the Church.  We are going to have someone at our trailer the first Saturday of the month from 11:00 - Noon to put the items in the trailer.

            No used appliances and no sleepers - just good furniture, clothes, bedding, TV's - anything that will sell "good" at the sale.

            Please keep us in mind.

            Won't you please come to our first meeting in early January 2009 and hear what we are going to do at the Rummage Sale?

Please call the following "gents" for assistance with your items.

John Barlow - 412-9263

Jim Porcelly - 485-6148

Thanks, Gladys Geith - 488-2812

 

Sing Amazing Grace - Our sincere condolences to the family and friends of:

 

Robert J. O'Brien - June 5, 2008

318 Mantua Drive

 

 

New Residents - I, Joyce Clark, as the Welcome Hostess, would like to welcome you as well as bring you some maps, coupons and provide you with information regarding Venice and about the activities here at VIE.  Please call me so that I may visit with you at your convenience.  Please leave your name, address and phone number on my recorder if I'm not home.

Joyce Clark - 484-0780

 

 

 

"Pizza and Pipes"

(Menu has more than just pizza!)

(Pipes = Organ music that is awesome!)

4:00 - 8:30 p.m.

$6.00 p/p - Pay at Sign-Up

 

Golden Apple Dinner Theater

"Musicals of Musicals" - 5:15 - 11:00 p.m.

$45.00 p/p - Pay at Sign-Up

 

Venice Little Theater

"Steel Magnolias" - 7:00 - 10:00 p.m.

$32.00 p/p - Pay at Sign-Up

            These prices are based on a full park bus of 24 - so get your money in as soon as possible.            Make checks payable to either one of us.

            Please talk it up amongst your friends and neighbors - it only works if the bus is full.  If you have any questions, please feel free to call us.  Thanks,

Sheila Conger - 484-3290

Joetta LaPole - 480-0460

 

Imagination Station - A Journey of the mind.  Find it at Clubhouse 1 in the Venice Isle Estates Library.  Your travel package is ready for pick up.  No tickets needed.

            Take your Trip of the Imagination via audio tapes, video, large print books, hard cover and paper backs with mysteries, romance, religious, fiction, non-fiction, sci-fi and many more.

News Flash - summer doldrums - not really - It looks like we are doing business as usual.  I guess all the readers have decided to stay here for the summer instead of going North.

            We've been getting as much or more of the books and material that we normally get "in season" what's going on?  No, forget that, who cares.  What ever it is - keep it up.  Don't look gift horses in the mouth my father used to say.

            A result of all this good fortune has been some really interesting donations, great authors and a few "sets" of books from someone's collection.  To display these properly, we have to get our thinking caps on.  Hopefully, we will find the space needed and it will be done by the time this goes to print.

            Remember, it's your library, and as always, it's the honor system - you borrow - you return.  Doors open 8:00 a.m. and close 10:00 p.m.  Maybe you've been thinking you'd like to volunteer as a helper.  Give me a call; we can always use a helping hand.

            Check the white book on the desk in the library to find your author's number.  On the shelf find the alphabet and just follow the numbers.  You'll never mix up Mary Higgins Clark with her daughter or daughter-in-law again.

Winnie O'Loughlin - 486-1374

The Chief Libra

 

Venice Isle Courtesy Bus - Our Courtesy bus leaves from both Clubhouses at approximately 9:30 a.m., 11:30 a.m. and 2:30 p.m., Monday through Friday except Holidays.  You may arrange with the driver, Ken Conlow, for the pickup of your return trip.  However, if you leave the Park on a 2:30 p.m. bus, you will need to provide your own transportation back to Venice Isle Estates.

            Note:  The Wednesday 11:30 a.m. bus only goes to the Venice Village Shops and Wal-Mart if requested.  Pick up for this special run is at 2:30 p.m. only.  There may be pickups in other locations on route to The Venice Village Shops and Wal-Mart, but only as needed.

            Also on request, passengers will be taken to Venice Beach, Venice Library, Bon Secours Health Park and Hospital, downtown Venice, grocery stores, Doctor's offices, etc.  Please call the Business Office, 488-9648, for further information and to make special requests.  There is no charge to residents for this service.

 

 

Congratulations go out to Mary and Ken Meixell as they celebrate their 72^nd Wedding Anniversary on July 4^th!  They were married in Stroudsburg, PA in 1936.

            Mary and Ken are with their friends and family (two children, five grandchildren and four great grand-children) in Michigan this summer.

            The Meixell's have lived at VIE for 27 years.

 

Ron Youdelis - Congratulations on being so loved and trusted!

While Ron and Gen were in Chicago in June - their grand children thought it would be a good idea to let their pet python crawl up on Grandpa.

 

 

1.       Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. Moreover, while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2.       Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3.       Try to get enough sleep.

4.       When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to____ today.'

5.       Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6.       Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.

7.       Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8.       Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9.       Dream more while you are awake.

10.       Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that are manufactured in plants.

11.       Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds and walnuts.

12.       Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13.       Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14.       Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15.       Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16.       Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17.       Smile and laugh more.

18.       Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19.       Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20.       Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21.       You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22.       Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

23.       Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24.       Burn the candles, use the nice bed sheets, and dont save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

25.       No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26.       Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

27.       Forgive everyone for everything.

28.       What other people think of you is none of your business.

29.       Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

30.       However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

31.       Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

32.       Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

33.       Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

34.       The best is yet to come.

35.       No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

36.       Do the right thing!

37.       Call your family often. Keep in touch with them.

38.       Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: 'I am thankful for ___. Today I accomplished ____.'

39.       Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

40.       Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass.

You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

 

September 6^th - Saturday

Clubhouse 2 - at 5:30 p.m.

Tickets are $7.00 p/p

Watch Channel 33 for sale dates/contact persons.

Joan Martinek - 483-3516

 

Pine Needle Weaving - The weaving class will be held every Tuesday morning year round thanks to the help of Rose Flippin.

            If you are interested, stop in between 9:30 and Noon (we are not always on time).

            Pine Needle Weaving is a very inexpensive hobby.

            If you have any questions, please call Rose at 486-8242

Dee Scheffel - 484-3432

Or 920-484-2606

 

Tuesday Teddy Bear Class - The season is coming to an end but our bear making will continue year round.  If you are interested in making a bear, be sure and stop at Clubhouse 1 between 9:30 and Noon.

            If you have any questions, call Mary Kolp at 496-4511.

            The bears are made in many sizes from real and fake fur or any suitable material.  It is a wonderful way to make a keepsake for yourself, grandchild or someone else dear to you.

            There are spaces available for new people.  Mary is head of the group and has consented to teach the class.

Dee Scheffel - 484-3432

Or 920-484-2606

 

7:30 p.m. - Clubhouse 2

Bring your own beverage

Popcorn will be served

Donations will be collected at the door

Mad Money - Starring Diane Keaton

Rating PG13 - Three ½ Stars

Released:  2008 - Running Time:  103 minutes

Synopsis: A woman who was used to the finer things in life is suddenly thrust back into the work force after her husband gets downsized in writer/director Callie Khouri's (Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood) American adaptation of the hit British comedy Hot Money. Faced with the prospect of losing her home as her debt begins to mount, posh housewife Bridget (Diane Keaton) accepts a job on the midnight cleaning crew at a local branch of the Federal Reserve Bank. When the growing temptation of the cash that surrounds her night after night ultimately proves too powerful to resist, Bridget teams with two of the other cleaners for a criminal exercise in creative moneymaking. Queen Latifah and Katie Holmes co-star in a crime comedy inspired by actual events. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

Complete Cast:

Skip Martinek - 483-3516

 

7:30 p.m. - Clubhouse 2

Bring your own beverage

Popcorn will be served

Donations will be collected at the door

Rating PG13 - Whimsical Comedy

Released:  2008 - Running Time:  95 minutes

Synopsis:  A heavenly romantic comedy concerning a female psychic and a doubtful skeptic who find their fledgling love affair thwarted by the latter's recently deceased fiancée. Henry and Kate were all prepared to live out their "happily ever after" when tragedy struck from out of nowhere and Kate was killed on their wedding day. In the aftermath of the accident, a devastated Paul reluctantly takes his sister's advice and pays a visit to local psychic Ashley. Now, despite the fact that he openly questions her ability to communicate with the dearly departed, Paul can't help but fall head over heels in love with Ashley. Despite the fact that the feelings are most certainly mutual, however, their growing relationship is threatened when Kate makes it her supernatural mission to sabotage the happy couple's fledgling relationship before it starts to get serious. - Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

 

Joke Time - Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

 

2009 Star Entertainment Season Tickets - A Season Ticket is four shows for $50.00 p/p.  Individual shows are $15.00 p/p.  If you have not picked up your tickets as yet, please call me.

Joan Martinek - 483-3516

 

 

 

 

Brian Roman - Canadian vocalist - You will be captivated by his charismatic stage presence and personal warmth!  He played to sold-out audiences at Roy Thomson Hall and is touring Great Britain this Spring!  (Remember Brain from the showcase?)

 

Shaelaurel - Yes, you saw them growing up; now come see them perform once again.  This great family band has toured China and comes back to entertain us with all new music and songs.  Their excitement and enthusiasm reaches out and captures your attention.  Welcome back the Shaelaurel family!

 

Friday, February 6^th - 11:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.

Don't forget to mark your calendar

for this all day event!

            This is a continuous showcase of Professional Entertainers.  See musicians, magicians, vocalists, family bands, comedians, etc.  A new act previews every 20 minutes.  Come be entertained and be a part of choosing 2010 year's shows.

A fun way

To spend the day!

Tickets - $6.00 p/p

            Food and refreshments will be available for purchase throughout the day.

Joan Martinek - 483-3516

 

 

Friday Summer Open Bowling - Join your friends and neighbors for Open Bowling on Friday's at 10:30 p.m. at the Venice AMF Alley's every week until September.

            The Alley fee will be $6.42 (including tax) for three games.

Come on over and spare them up and strike them out!

Jean DeLoreto - 486-1909

 

P.J. McMahon Monday Bowling League - We need more bowlers - 20 teams require 80 bowlers.  Talk it up with friends and neighbors - VIE Residents or Renters - all are welcome.  Full time and substitutes are needed - join us - it's good exercise, good laughs and an opportunity to meet new people.  Please call me at 484-0421 or Email me at cglevsr@aol.com.

            Mark your calendar - Monday, October 6^th at 9:30 a.m. in Clubhouse 2 for our preparation meeting to start the 2008/2009 bowling season.  Introductions, in general information and any updates will be the agenda.  The team line-ups will be passed out then.

            Monday, October 13^th will be our first week of official league games.

Claude LeVasseur, Secretary

 

Friday Afternoon Mixed League - We will have an organizational meeting in the Venetian Room of Clubhouse 2 on Friday, October 3^rd at 1:00 p.m.

            We start bowling on October 17^th through March on Friday's at 12:30 p.m.

            There are four bowlers per team.  We can place you or you can bring your own team.  All calibers of bowlers are welcome.

            We are a fun league!  Join us!  Come to the meeting!

Jean DeLoreto - 486-1909

 

Venice Lakes Golf - Come Fall Season; keep in mind our Mixed League - Tuesday's at 11:00 a.m.  Use sign-up sheet at Clubhouse 1.

Frank Bifaro 485-5026

 

Capri Isle Golf - Keep in mind when you return to VIE - Interested golfers are invited to join a Gentlemen's Group for a friendly day of golf at Capri Isle Golf Club each Tuesday at 11:30 a.m.

            Call me if you wish to be put on the list.

Doug Jones - 483-3921

 

Oyster Creek Golf Thursday Men's Golf League - Over the summer, please keep in mind that VIE has a weekly reservation at Oyster Creek Golf & Country Club every Thursday at 10:00 p.m.  We start "limbering up" end of October.

            Formal league is January to March with closing dinner at the end of March.

            Entry fee is $35.00 which includes prizes and annual dinner including guests.

            Sign up will be each Wednesday before Men's Coffee.  We look forward to seeing you on the greens!

Doug Jones 483-3921

Tim Pelton 486-8069

Tom Gosler 488-1250

Dick Hershberger 488-9273

 

 

Our Annual Ice Cream Social and Hymn Sing - will be held on Sunday, August 17^th at 6:30 p.m. in Clubhouse 1.  All you can eat!  Everybody is welcome.

            Tickets are $2.00, in advance, p/p.  Channel 33 will have information on when ticket sale dates will be.  Tickets will be available from Helen Kiddon, 485-0267 or myself.

            There's a big dish of Ice Cream reserved just for you.  Come and get it!

            Singing will begin between 7:00 to 7:15 p.m.

Phyllis Porcelly - 485-6148

 

 

January - Annual 50's Sock Hop

Music:  DJ Joey Royal - Food:  Pizza

 

February - Cruise to Nowhere

Calypso Cruise Theme

Music - Moving Target - Food:  TBD

 

March - Down Home Hoe Down

Music:  The Gator Creek Band

Great western band - Food:  TBD

 

April - South of the Border

Music:  Claudio's Duo

Great Latin American Music

Wonderful guitar player who was a famous South American TV and RCA recording star - ahh, let's just describe him as marvelously charismatic!

Sombrero's - Ponchos

Maybe tacos for a snack

Joan Martinek - 483-3516

 

 

Dear Friends - Thank you for all your prayers, food, gifts and cards.  You will never know how much it meant to me to have a "support team" backing me up during my unexpected operation and recovery.  Thank you so much.

 

Joke Time - I went to a seafood disco last week - and pulled a mussel.

 

Thanks - The Wednesday card players at Clubhouse 1 wish to thank the employees for doing a super job in painting and cleaning both bathrooms at Clubhouse 1.  Thanks Again!

 

 

Artery - The study of paintings

Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria

Barium - What doctors do when patients die

Benign - What you be after you be eight

Catscan - Searching for Kitty

Cauterize - Made eye contact with her

Cesarean Section - A neighborhood in

Colic - A sheep dog

Coma - A punctuation mark

D&C - Where Washington is

Dilate - To live long

Enema -Not a friend

Fester - Quicker than someone else

Fibula - A small lie

Genital - Non-Jewish person

G.I. Series - World Series of military baseball

Hangnail - What you hang your coat on

Impotent - Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane

Morbid - A higher offer than I bid

Nitrates - Cheaper than day rates

Node - I knew it

Outpatient - A person who has fainted

Ovaries - You get to try again

Pap Smear - A fatherhood test

Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative - A letter carrier

Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery

Rectum - Pretty near killed him

Secretion - Hiding something

Seizure - Roman emperor what got killed

Tablet - A small table

Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport

Tumor - More than one

Urine - Opposite of your out

Varicose - Near by/close by

 

These things, I warmly wish for you

Someone to love - Some work to do

A bit of o' sun - A bit o' cheer

And a guardian angel always near